Something about: Be OK~

Assalamualaikum. Hello there, random human. By now, this is the 20th day I'm with these blotches-like and rashes-like on my skin. Alhamdulillah that it gradually decreasing, but sadly it did not go away fully. There are bad days, but the better one are there to; so it's okay. Sadder for me that when they went away, they leave marks on the skin. Sobsobsss~ Doctor says that it will go away, but but but~ they are ugly~~~ :'(

Just a little prompting about my twitter, here. Haha. 

Lately, it had been few times meeting someone that always manage to rendered me speechless. Realizing that time won't ever turn back to once it had been, but my brain can't erase the thoughts of "what if's".

"What if I never speak out my true feeling; the feel that had already engulfing me the first time my eyes set on you?"

But at least, I know I'm being honest to myself. No regret on that. At least if something happened to me later on, I won't regret for holding it just to me. 

Onto the next thing - finally~ This semester's class finally ended. Okay okay~ The last class is on last Thursday, but just few hour ago is the last test before final. Wehoo~ I think that this is better than the first one, I do pray so~ It just saddened me a little that I focused a little bit more on stock split when the question come out is stock dividend. Well~ yeah~ things happened~

This semester, it seems that I have change. Some turns better, some just turn out to be worsen. I don't even know whether my heart is too soft or what, but I learn that nobody is perfect; we need to learn to cope and to tolerate with each other. Certain things takes time to happen; but when it do - it's a wonder. 

My heart; please heal properly, eh? 

"I just wanna be OK, be OK, be OK;

 I just wanna be OK today~"

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ Ingrid Michaelson - Be OK

ps: A guy said this to me, "you don't need to put too much effort; what you need is a hero" and it do crack me up so much. I'm surrounded with so many great friend, and I'm thankful for that. =)

Something about: Normal, Perhaps...?

Let's flail together over my niece's picture here. \(^____^)/

Nurfatiha Humaira Binti Mohd Fairuz

First. I don't know I'm cursed for talking about my health condition or what but this is the second week I'm being like this. 'Like this' refers to blotchy skins I'm currently having. Starting from last week's Monday up until now. Last week itself, I've been getting myself shots after shots to reduce the blotch and rashes-like marks on my skin but up until now, nothing cures it. I had no worried, perhaps, if it just happens to be rasher or some-sort but it is itchy. Like, very, very itchy that I can't even go to class because it is very itchy. Itching itchy itchy... Well, I do hope you got the picture here. 

Last week itself, I've gotten three shots of piriton and another shot that I don't know its name but it is injected directly in veins so that it could mix with blood (200mg of it, so please, DO imagine how I'm suffering while getting this injection as it do take time for it to fully enters my body. Very thin needles since it is inserted directly to my vein, yeah, DO IMAGINE IT). Still, nothing change. Even if there is, it just actually worsen. The doctor think that I might developing allergies, but they don't even know what trigger it, or to what am I allergic to. I had no idea, since this is the first time for me. 

On the Friday, I was referred to Klinik Kesihatan Kangar. The doctor suspecting whether I'm having allergies or very, very minor chickenpox (since I have no symptom of fever, flu, or whatsoever). Really, now? I'm just given medicine no more different than UK gave me.

I really do thought that it turns better since it did when I'm on the two-days one-night trip to Langkawi. Surprise, surprise, on the evening of Monday itself, it turns worse than ever. 

So last Tuesday, since I'm already at the hospital visiting a friend, decided to go to emergency and getting myself checked. Three doctors come and examining my skins and none dares to says anything about my skins. Worse when one of them actually says something that I don't know what it is. (=,=) They only write a letter and refers to dermatology experts the next day (Wednesday).

Guess what I've been told? They just says that it might happen because I'm allergic to certain insects that flies  or happen to make contact to my skins in the hostel and to get myself a mosquito net to protect myself when I'm sleeping. I'm just given one medicine to be taken every night and a cream to help reduce the itchiness and an appointment two weeks from that date. . 

I'm actually quite angry over everything. Firstly, I don't even know what the name of these blotchy-marks all over my skin. Hey, come on! At least give me a name for this thing, okay? Secondly, I'm not someone who is science-based, but if this is actually caused by allergic reaction over something; won't piriton actually makes it goes away? Why it worsen then?

This is the second night I'm sleeping with mosquito net. Yesterday, nothing seems to change, still. I know that I need to be patient, but when things happened for almost two weeks; you'll eventually lose yourself. It's not easy to be patient...

Secondly. So many things that I've been keeping to myself that I'm afraid that I'll eventually loosing grip upon everything. Just a little more than half a year more (inshaAllah, I hope and pray) and after that, I hope such misery won't come back to me, ever again. 

Would I ever be able to make any decision? Would I ever be good enough for you? Would you realized that everything you decide for me just suffocates me in the end? Will you ever realize that?

Anyway, take care!

(|]        [|) ♪♫ Fun. - We Are Young

Something about: Past time.

So, finally I'm back here with an update. Haha. 

Not so surprising for me that my health seems deteriorating (again) which I've been provided with gazillion type of vitamin (which tasted not pleasant, at all, NO!). It's actually funny for anyone that actually knows about what happen, but for me, it is extremely painful. No lies, okay?

So last Monday (last week), when I'm preparing for my Fundamental of Finance's class, I was taking time with preparation and all and I do a little bit of stretching AND MY HEAD TILL HANDS ACHES SUDDENLY. (TT.TT) Not funny I tell you! I cried a little bit as I'm trying to ease back my hands and try to put my hands down (since well, I'm stretching and my hand was up in the air at the moment). Yes, starting from area below of my head - to my neck - to my shoulder - to my hand ; it's aching all over, okay? Spend my day on the bed, just lying and trying to ease the pain away. 

Almost the same thing happened on Tuesday and miss the first class. Putting up strong face and determination (cewah, ayattt... Kemain kau... Haha) I went to the afternoon and the next class. Still in pain on Wednesday, decided to drop by at Unit Kesihatan (abbreviation; UK) and been provided with many, many vitamins. So up until now I was quite dependent on all the vitamin given. The doctor says that my body maybe lack of something that I can't quite understand what I've been told. Haha.

Next. Guess who had gotten a new haircut?

If your answer is Kamenashi Kazuya, you're right. He did look younger in that haircut, and I'm oh-so-jealous of him, okay? I want to look younger too! *extremely jealous*

On to the Raya part of this year...
I certainly can't thank them enough for actually spending some time and visiting my house for Raya.

Hazmi, Hadziq, me, Ana.

Seriously terharu since this is the second time they come to my house, okay? And I never been to their house, except Ana's house (yes, not only I did went to her house, I've been sleeping at her house too). Since this year, our cuti Raya was actually, extremely short, I don't even have enough time to visit their house. Sorry all, and thank you sebab sudi jugak datang beraya. =)

And so, I've finally meet Nurfatiha Humaira, my niece.

Botak sebab dah cukur rambut untuk ditimbang rambutnya. 

And that is the quite-angry face from Humaira to me since I kinda disturbing her when she was fed milk. I really do love playing around with her, quite frankly. Just that, she kinda having her "moody moment" sometimes that she's gonna cry all day or sleep all day. 

And this is Umar. I know I know - my niece and nephew's name kinda rhyming each other. =3

Demam di Hari Raya...

Poor boy got sick on the third day of Shawwal. Snapping picture when he was sleeping because it is super-duper hard to take picture of him when he's awake. Keep on fidgeting nonstop and making all other picture blurry all over. -,-" And one thing, I do wrestling with him. He hates me when I tried to be all cuddly and kissing and hugging him, okay? Giving me "I'm-a-boy-and-I-hate-kissed-and-hugged" when I tried to do so. So we two did wrestle together. And get scolded by my mother. Haha. 

This is me, on the first Raya. Shaddap, I know I look fat, okay?

Random picture taken by my cousin. 

So, before I ended this entry, do spend some time to listen to this song, eyh? ;')

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ Ingrid Michaelson - Ghost