Something about: Normal, Perhaps...?

Let's flail together over my niece's picture here. \(^____^)/

Nurfatiha Humaira Binti Mohd Fairuz

First. I don't know I'm cursed for talking about my health condition or what but this is the second week I'm being like this. 'Like this' refers to blotchy skins I'm currently having. Starting from last week's Monday up until now. Last week itself, I've been getting myself shots after shots to reduce the blotch and rashes-like marks on my skin but up until now, nothing cures it. I had no worried, perhaps, if it just happens to be rasher or some-sort but it is itchy. Like, very, very itchy that I can't even go to class because it is very itchy. Itching itchy itchy... Well, I do hope you got the picture here. 

Last week itself, I've gotten three shots of piriton and another shot that I don't know its name but it is injected directly in veins so that it could mix with blood (200mg of it, so please, DO imagine how I'm suffering while getting this injection as it do take time for it to fully enters my body. Very thin needles since it is inserted directly to my vein, yeah, DO IMAGINE IT). Still, nothing change. Even if there is, it just actually worsen. The doctor think that I might developing allergies, but they don't even know what trigger it, or to what am I allergic to. I had no idea, since this is the first time for me. 

On the Friday, I was referred to Klinik Kesihatan Kangar. The doctor suspecting whether I'm having allergies or very, very minor chickenpox (since I have no symptom of fever, flu, or whatsoever). Really, now? I'm just given medicine no more different than UK gave me.

I really do thought that it turns better since it did when I'm on the two-days one-night trip to Langkawi. Surprise, surprise, on the evening of Monday itself, it turns worse than ever. 

So last Tuesday, since I'm already at the hospital visiting a friend, decided to go to emergency and getting myself checked. Three doctors come and examining my skins and none dares to says anything about my skins. Worse when one of them actually says something that I don't know what it is. (=,=) They only write a letter and refers to dermatology experts the next day (Wednesday).

Guess what I've been told? They just says that it might happen because I'm allergic to certain insects that flies  or happen to make contact to my skins in the hostel and to get myself a mosquito net to protect myself when I'm sleeping. I'm just given one medicine to be taken every night and a cream to help reduce the itchiness and an appointment two weeks from that date. . 

I'm actually quite angry over everything. Firstly, I don't even know what the name of these blotchy-marks all over my skin. Hey, come on! At least give me a name for this thing, okay? Secondly, I'm not someone who is science-based, but if this is actually caused by allergic reaction over something; won't piriton actually makes it goes away? Why it worsen then?

This is the second night I'm sleeping with mosquito net. Yesterday, nothing seems to change, still. I know that I need to be patient, but when things happened for almost two weeks; you'll eventually lose yourself. It's not easy to be patient...

Secondly. So many things that I've been keeping to myself that I'm afraid that I'll eventually loosing grip upon everything. Just a little more than half a year more (inshaAllah, I hope and pray) and after that, I hope such misery won't come back to me, ever again. 

Would I ever be able to make any decision? Would I ever be good enough for you? Would you realized that everything you decide for me just suffocates me in the end? Will you ever realize that?

Anyway, take care!

(|]        [|) ♪♫ Fun. - We Are Young