Monday 30 May 2011

Something about: I'm back.

A new day started. I'm back here in Arau, Alhamdulillah, everything went fine for me. I got place for hostel again which mean that I need not to think about renting house etc, and my result,... There's tiny improvement. Not much, but with such little effort that I put last semester, I get what I deserve to, I think? XD

In a new room, with new roommates and everything. And less than two hours, my first class will started. I should get ready. Heee~ :D

There are things that hurt us when we do it, but sometimes, we need to, so that we'll be better in the future. I do believe that such decision is right for me. InsyaAllah.



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! :D



(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫~~ Porno Graffitti - EXIT. [i know, lol at the band name. but the song was super great. ;)]

Friday 27 May 2011

Something about: the feel of love.

“So, how’s it going?” Maria closes the book in her hand upon the arrival of Sara. She guessed that her date was splendid, and she’s right about it.

“It’s great. I mean – it’s beyond great. It’s magnificent! He’s being a great gentleman, and all. Well, he even introduces me as his girlfriend to his friends. Well, we first went for a movie before head to late lunch, and that’s where we accidentally meet a group of his friends. At first I thought that he’ll pull me away, but instead, we kinda hangout with the other too. We even join them for a game of bowling. Well, you know, not many guys will introduce their girlfriend to their friends but, he – he’s so different from the other guys that I had met before.” Sara keep on rambling incoherently that night, and Maria being a good friend as she is, keep on listening to Sara about her date.

Really, Maria is happy that Sara met Zachary, a great guy in her opinion, even. But she can’t help but feel a little worried for she did know the guy personally. Still, she is happy for Sara.

“Hey girl…” Maria holds Sara’s hand, trying to get her into proper conversation rather than this one-way and incoherent talk between them. “Did you think its okay for me to, let say, meet him?”

“Maria… Zachary is not a bad guy.” Sara says with her brows knitted together.

“Says who he’s a bad guy? I just want to meet him, get to know him a little. Plus, until when you’re going to keep him for yourself? You need to let him meet your friends too, right?” Maria put up her hand before Sara could cut her, “And I just need to get to know him by myself. You know, every girl needs a protective friend that will beat the guy who hurt their friend.”

Sara sighs. Maria grins, ear-to-ear as she knows she win when Sara put a small smile on her face.

“I’ll try to arrange something, okay?” Sara says, defeated.

~*~

So today is the day.

Maria tries her best to look presentable while Sara just can’t stop fidgeting since early in the morning, fussing over small things and changing her clothes few times just because it’s inappropriate.

“Too revealing” “Too boring” “Too colourful” “Don’t you think that I’m going to funeral with this” and many more comments from Sara, ended up she change her clothes for five time. Maria just chuckles from aside.

Both Sara and Maria arrived fifteen minutes earlier than the promised time, but much to their surprise, Zachary is already been there, waiting for them.

~*~

To sum it all, their small gathering was fun. And Zachary, oh Zachary, he really is a great guy, just like Sara had boast about him. To Maria too, he could see how sincere Zachary is towards Sara and as a good friend she is, she’s happy for her.

Zachary is a very great guy. He really is. Having the looks and status and intelligent and a very great gentleman and list just goes on and on.

There are few other times when Maria follows Sara to her date with Zachary, but Maria try her best to minimize it, much to Sara’s dismay, but she can’t help it. She need to keep their meeting as little and as short as possible, because she knows that she is in love with Zachary, and the feelings just grows and she’s helpless about it.

Maria falls in love. Oh. And she falls hard.


-----


So, what it feel like when you’re at Maria’s place? Did you think she’s a bad person, just because she falls in love with her bestfriend’s-boyfriend?

In my own opinion, there’s nothing wrong with such feeling to present in one’s self. It will be right or wrong based on what she did later on. There are people that let go such feeling because they aren’t greedy enough to have it. And then, there are also people that too stubborn, keep on holding despite things just go wrong because of the person’s action.

I laugh when I realized that there are not many use in looking things at 360º, because that means you’ll set your foot back at the beginning. Funny much? I can’t help but agree. *sigh*



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! :D



(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫~~ Sheila Majid - Dia


Wednesday 25 May 2011

I guess, there are times when we asks ourselves, "is it okay to be happy?"
Human. Humanity.
Just...classy.

Nabilah Mohamad Arifin



ps: oh, I am happy. Alhamdulillah, thank you almighty Allah for everything! :D

Sunday 22 May 2011

Something about: tears.

And he promise that he'll be there, forever.

Less that he knows that forever ends in a blink of an eye.

So I cried, again.



Nabilah Mohamad Arifin

---

I'm done angsting for today. LOL. Okay, I don't know why I'm so sensitive lately. I cried almost everyday! I watch drama or movies, I cried. I read novel, I cried. I listen to songs, I cried. Its like, the tears just refuse to stop. Just, what the hell is so wrong with me lately? Too many things crush my mind that I can't think so straight. *sigh*

I finished watching Bloody Monday 2 and Samurai High School, and almost finished watching Koizora the Movie, before stopped at the part where they lost their baby and I cried a bunch again. Oh, and I'm halfway done downloading Taisetsu na Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta, too! Biased much over Miura Haruma? Haha. ^^" Though I'll say that the first reason of why I wanted to watch it is because Toda Erika. Don't mind the weird plot, and weird choice of actors. Well, Miura Haruma+Toda Erika? LOL. How original -cut that- how random could they get? 

---

You know, I never asked for you to treat me like I’m from the royal family or something like that, the only thing that I asked as I communicate with others is just proper response. Is it that hard, actually? I mean, you act like I’m not existed in front of you at all. Maybe, just maybe I should just treat you the same way the next time we communicate. Or even when you need any help from me. -_-;

---

Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder.

The quote never ceases to amaze me, up until now. It makes me think of how simplicity could have such great affect to others sometimes. The story behind this? Secret. :P



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! :D



(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫~~ Sheila Majid - Dia

Friday 20 May 2011

"This is the part in the movies where the couples will laugh whole-heartedly."

So he does.

And I cried.



Nabilah Mohamad Arifin.

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Sesuatu Tentang: Generasi Mbah Dasuki.

Sedang di dalam perjumpaan bersama keluarga BESAAAARRRR. Sangat RAAAMAAAAIIII. Seratus lebih orang, kot? Di Rantau Panjang Klang. O.o" Update yang lebih panjang kemudian. Dengan gambar, mungkin? ;)



#edited

Klik untuk BESAARRRkan. :)

Sebahagian yang hadir. Beberapa keluarga terpaksa pulang awal sebelum sesi bergambar ini, dan ada juga ahli keluarga yang tidak dapat menghadirkan diri atas beberapa kekangan.

Monday 16 May 2011

because we're speaking in codes that only we do understand. ilusfm. :)

Sunday 15 May 2011

sudah punya kepak. yang tinggal hanya belajar untuk terbang dengan betul. dan bila aku sudah terbang, pergi dan tak kembali, aku harap ketika itu kau sedar kesalahan kau. kau, yang tak pernah memahami. kehadiran yang disangka ubat rupanya racun yang memakan diri. maaf, aku sekejam itu. namun bila ku fikirkan kau yang membuka pekung di dada tanpa sudah, aku lelah. maaf kerana aku bukan pemaaf.

Friday 13 May 2011

Something about: complaint.

Sometimes, I think, we do complain A LOT. Well, you see that? Another complain. *sigh* Well... This is because I'm as epic as that. Haha!

For some reason, I think that the "fun" Nabilah is coming back to me, bit by bit. And the "gloomy and whiny" Nabilah is fading away bit by bit too. Is it good? Or is it bad? I honestly don't know. One of the phrase that I often use that I guess is becoming my favourite is, "I DON'T KNOW." But, at least I know that the phrase is much better than throwing out lies, right? ;) At least I know that! Haha~ *awkward laugh*

This week, I aim to finish off Bloody Monday Season 2. I just cried upon watching the fourth episode, where Orihara Maya died. And the way she look at Kanou-san before she died. TT,TT So heartbreaking~~~



Okay. I'm done rantings. Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! :D



(|}.^_^.{|) ♪♫~~ Yamashita Tomohisa - Loveless.

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Something about: CODE.

I could only look, and not see.
I could only hear, and not listen.
For you're so faraway, away from me.
Because that's the destiny, for you...and me.


Its my own code, code of love.

Nabilah Mohamad Arifin



There are times that we just want to speak the words of love. But it comes out as talks of love. Differences lies beneath it, would you be able to see it, though? ;)


"ありったけな愛を 愛を 愛を " - So my unconditional love… my love… my love.
code by Nishikido Ryo



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! ;)



(|]=^,^=[|)♪♫~~ Nishikido Ryo - code
ps: i think i'm turning myself to a poet. a poet who had no direction of where the life would bring her to. ;)


Something about: Girls.

Last Thursday, the girls, Ellyana and Farhanah came to my house. We have girly talk for hours, from 10 am until 3-something-pm. I do miss them so much.

And Farhanah sent me an sms few hours ago, and I do try my best to not cry over it. Because somehow, its breaking my heart a little. "We won't realize of what we do have until it's a little too late," is what I want to reply to her. But I hadn't had any courage to do so. I miss her, Ellyana, Nada, and Maisarah, so very much. I do hope that we could all gather together and just talk and talk until we had no topic left and laugh to each other and being silly to each other and just be what we are from before. It wasn't that I regret I'm growing up, or that I regret I need to separated from them, it just...won't it be easier if we're located more near to each other, and just be ourselves all over again.

I miss each and every single one of them! I really do.

Farhanah and Ellyana said that I'm crazy. I really do, I guess! Haha. Farhanah talk about once she asks me, if there's only one thing that someone willing to grant, what would that be? Can you guess my answer at that time? I answered "I want another ten wishes! Because one wish won't be enough for me! I'm a human, and I'm as greedy as that!" There~ Can you believe how crazy I was back then, with them?

Ellyana reminds me of one trick that I teach the girls, when the need arise. Such trick should only be discussed among girls, ONLY. And she said that she had done it few times. Once during she work and someone (a guy) tried to annoy her or something like that, and then she did it again to one of her besties at Melaka. Because that guy annoys her. Haha. :D

Both of them asks me, how could I come out with such crazy ideas? Well, I DON'T KNOW. I'm just as crazy as that, I guess? XD

Last few times I talk to Nada, she says that I should pity her. Because when my mood aren't that good, I always throw it out to her. This habit is still within me until now. I'm not that good coping with my feelings, and when things happen to be too much for me to handle, I tend to let it out to anyone happens to be around me. So yeah, be careful. Cause there's a time bomb within me! :D

And then, there's also Maisarah. The only girl that not in the same class as we. But we have things in common. The biggest one? Our crazy over j-dorama. She drew in and out at times, but we really do have good times together. I kinda miss the phase when she is head over heel to Nishikido Ryo. Ah~ What a memory.

And I'm a big teaser, too. Just so you know. Once, Amalina is the victim, and she had it hard. Normally during early morning, my body temperature is quite high. When we shake hand, she asks me, "why you're so hot?" Annnndddddd guess what I reply to her? "Because I am hot?" HAHAHAHAAA. Somehow, it become my very own trademark after that when people asks me why I'm hot. Well, what to say? I'm as epic as that! :D

I miss those good old times. I really do!

I guess that this song justify my feelings towards them.


"消えない この 絆" - This bond, won't ever cease
Kizuna by Kamenashi Kazuya



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone!



(|]=^,^=[|)♪♫~~ Kamenashi Kazuya - Kizuna



Monday 9 May 2011

Something about: So Yesterday...


"Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay?"



Sometimes, in order to move on, we need to let things go. ;)
Nabilah Mohamad Arifin

Something about: self-healing.

#this post is full of incoherent-ness. you've warned enough, I guess?#

Running from things for a little while. Feeling much better right now, alhamdulillah. :D Thanks a lot to some friends that just be there for me. You all don't know how much it means to me, darls.

Truthfully, I don't know what to write at this moment. I'm just having my moment,... I guess?



希望. Hope.
This world is full of hope. Read somewhere the phrase "don't think, just feel" and I just want to do just so. Just feel and embrace everything that come to me without think too much of why it happens that way.

I did quite a lot of reading these last few days. I think a lot, too. It kinda sad that I chickened out in the end, that what I plan thoroughly didn't happen for real. It makes me a little bit depressing, but then, I'll live. I just hope that I'll have enough courage to speak out the truth. Because one thing that I hate to feel the most would be regret. Because regret brings nothing good with it.

"Life is an endless waltz. You meet and dance with different people, but will meet the same person again."
Anonymous.

Well, your choice. To me, from this quote, stop waltzing means to die. Well... Would you? ;)

Had done almost nothing throughout the break, up until now. Well, other than fatten myself up, again. *sigh* Buy hey, two weeks back in Arau and I'll lose all those excessive fat again, too! So, no worries for me. Haha!

Will cook for my mother *only* this evening, for dinner. Haha. The supposedly Mother's Day gift from me. It should be done yesterday, but few things come out. That is wedding invitations. I go to none. Haha. Too tired as I did attend one at Perak last Saturday.





And listening to this song, it just makes me think of the good old time, all over again. A song with so many emotions inside it that makes me think how time passed and how human changes. How strangers become friends, and how friends become strangers, again. Weird, but looking at how things were right now... Hmm...



Anyway, take care and have a great day everyone! :D



(|]=^,^=[|)♪♫~~ Akanishi Jin - care
ps: my english had worsen. agree? *sigh*

Wednesday 4 May 2011

its not all about the actions;
its about the words.

Sesuatu tentang: Dari 30 April ke 1 Mei.

30 APRIL 2011.

Dari pagi mengemas. Kemas itu ini. Eksaited terlebih nak balik rumah.Telefon kawan, tanye dapat tak tumpang sikit barang dekat rumah sewa beliau. Beliau kata tak dapat. Rumah sewa terlalu penuh dengan barangan jutaan manusia lain (okay, nampak benor menipunye. Haha. XD). Panik. Telefon Cik Donutt, nak tumpang sikit barang, boleh tak? Cik Donutt kata boleh. Sambung kemas. Alhamdulillah.

Ada plan di sini, tapi tak jadi. Takpelah. Mungkin ada hikmah semua tu. Sabar Nabilah, sabaaarrrr. :)

Dah siap kemas. Tapi hati masih tak tenang. Dah siap semua barang, rasa baik masuk stor. Sumbat segala macam benda dekat stor. Jadi, petang tu semua barang hantar ke stor. Satu beg, satu kotak, satu baldi, semua masuk stor. Lega. Tinggal dua biji bantal. Nak letak stor pon, takde beg yang muat nak letak lagi.

Kawan tanya kawan lain, boleh tak tumpang bantal. Kawan punya kawan kata boleh, dia ambil petang tu jugak. Jam enam lebih, tercongok dekat tangga dengan peluk dua biji bantal. Bagi bantal dekat kawan punya kawan yang menunggang motosikal sahaja. Alhamdulillah, semuaaaaa selesai. Tidur tanpa bantal pun tak mengapa, asalkan semua urusan selesai.

Jam lapan lebih, menemani roommate, Cik Anis menunggu teksi di mushroom. Hati sebak sikit. Rindu. Maklumlah, tiga minggu lebih tak jumpa nanti. Teksi sampai. Peluk cium, doakan yang baik-baik sahaja. Cik Anis pon berlalu, meninggalkan bumi Arau.

Balik bilik. Makan. Itupon hampir takde rasa. Sebab selsema, hidung tersumbat, dan selera pond ah nak mati. Makan pon sebab takut sakit lagi teruk. Lepas tu, menyebuk dekat bilik Cik Ili Nadia. Borak borak. Paanjaaaanggg. Sambil jeling-jeling aje modul MKT243. Kepala berat sangat. Cik Ili Nadia bagi ubat selsema. Disuruh tidur. Hajat mulanya nak balik bilik, terbantut. Dah lewat sangat. Dua lebih kalau tak silap. Jadinya tidur sahaja di katil Cil Ili Nadia tu, sambil dia menyiapkan kerja yang tak selesai lagi. Ubat selsema kuat. Mulanya tak boleh tidur, lepas tu tak boleh nak bangkit langsung pulak. Haha. -,-



1 MEI 2011.

Bangun pun, dah tak berapa pagi. Tengok-tengok ibu dan kakak Cik Ili Nadia dah sampai, nak ambil beliau pulang. Hati menjadi semakin eksaited nak balik.

Pulang ke bilik, roommate yang lagi seorang pon sudah pulang. Tak sempat nak jumpa. Maaf, sebab tak sempat nak ucap selamat pulang kepada kamu.

Terus bersiap segala. Pulangkan kunci di pejabat kolej. Bersiap untuk ke dewan terus.

Terima kasih kepada Cik Donutt yang menumpangkan saya ke Dewan Sri Semarak menggunakan motornya. Nak berjalan? Dahlah kurang sihat. Melepak di sekitar dewan, sebelum masuk. Keluar awal dari dewan. Entah kenapa, terlalu sesak selepas habis menjawab kertas itu.

Mendapat idea gila selepas itu. Aku dan Cik Donutt ke Huski untuk makan. Sambil bertanyakan Kak Pedy, bolehkah dia menumpangkan aku ke stesen keretapi Arau, kerana aku tidak mahu menaiki teksi keseorangan. Antara saat-saat akhir bersama Cik Donutt, membuatkan aku sedikit sebak. Walhal, cuti hanya tiga minggu lebih.

Balik ke bilik dengan perasaan yang sangat eksaited, nak balik rumah. Mengangkat beg-beg ke bawah, menunggu Kak Pedy mengambil aku dengan kereta kancilnya. Mengikut rancangan, aku dan Encik Safwan yang akan menumpang Kak Pedy ke stesen keretapi petang itu. Lama sedikit menunggu, aku menelefon Kak Pedy. Kak Pedy berkata Encik Safwan masih mengangkut barangan ke dalam kereta.

Tak lama kemudian, Kak Pedy sampai. Tiba-tiba ketemu pula dengan seorang yang tak dijangka, mantan MPP semester lepas Abang Firdaus@Epi. Sini facebook beliau, sini blog beliau. Berempat di dalam kereta kancil, kami menuju ke stesen keretapi Arau. Sepanjang perjalanan, Encik Safwan diusik kami. Maaf Sano!

Sampai di stesen jam enam lebih. Masih awal. Bergurau senda dan menangkap gambar sesama kami, sebelum Kak Pedy dan Abang Epi meninggalkan kami. (TERIMA KASIH KAK PEDY! :D) Di antara yang awal sampai ke stesen, kami menunggu kawan-kawan yang lain datang. Bilangan yang ramai antara kami, hingga aku tak pasti berapa ramai pelajar DBS yang menaiki keretapi hari itu. Yang pastinya, Encik Hazmi ada juga. Pertama kali menaiki keretapi bagi dia.

Menunggu bukan kegemaranku. Tapi nasib kami, keretapi lambat sampai. Waktu tercatat di tiket ialah 19:06, namun hanya hampir jam lapan malam barulah keretapi kami sampai. Menaiki keretapi dengan perasaan yang sangat lega. Hati semakin girang. Selangor, nantikan kehadiranku!

Perjalanan keretapi selama lebih kurang sepuluh jam. Pelbagai perkara yang terjadi, dan perbagai perkara dibualkan kami. Satu perjalanan yang penuh memori. Syukur, perkara yang terjadi semester lepas tidak terjadi lagi. Semester lepas, ketika cuti pertengahan semester yang juga jatuh pada cuti hari raya puasa, aku dan beberapa rakan pulang dengan keretapi dan satu perkara telah terjadi yang cukup untuk membuatkan aku berasa trauma. Biarlah ia menjadi memori yang terpendam dalam lipatan fikiran. Terima kasihlaahhh Encik Bazli sebab ingatkan diri ini kepada trauma itu! -,-"

Jam lima lebih pagi, kami sampai di KL Sentral. Syukur yang tak terhingga menjejak kaki di bumi Selangor. Rinduku terubat, sedikit demi sedikit. Sebahagian kami mengambil keputusan untuk bersarapan di McDonalds manakala sebahagian lagi meneruskan perjalanan pulang. Ada yang dijemput, ada yang menaiki bas, dan ada yang menaiki komuter.

Selesai makan, aku dan seorang lagi temanku meneruskan perjalanan menggunakan komuter. Temanku turun di stesen Klang manakala aku turun di stesen Telok Pulai. Tepat aku sampai, kakakku juga sampai untuk menjemput aku kembali ke rumahnya.

Hampir jam lapan pagi waktu aku sampai ke rumah kakak dan abang iparku. Bersarapan lagi, roti canai kegemaranku bersama milo. Nikmatnya makan di rumah, tidak terkata! Kemudian, aku berehat dan tidur sebentar sehingga jam hampir satu tengahari. Sewaktu menikmati makan tengahari bersama kakak, abah sampai untuk menjemput aku kembali ke rumah.

Jam dua lebih, RUMAH MANIS RUMAH!!! :)


-----


Buat masa ini, rancangan aku hanyalah ingin keluar bersama-sama teman-teman yang sudah lama tidak berjumpa. Cik Nada, Cik Maisarah, Cik Ellyana, dan Cik Farhanah jika punya kesempatan. Rindu. Ada juga yang hampir setahun tidak berjumpa disebabkan cuti semester yang berbeza-beza. Semoga cuti ini sempatlah aku untuk berkumpul dengan mereka. InsyaAllah. 

Aku terkejut menyedari sesuatu. Mungkin, inilah tandanya bahawa aku memang telah salah menilai orang sedari awal lagi. Namun, aku masih bersyukur. Terlalu banyak benda yang akan aku tempuhi kelak, dan apa yang telah terjadi ini hanyalah satu proses. Proses untuk mematangkan dan mendewasakan aku. Proses untuk aku menjadi lebih kental menghadapi hari mendatang. Ingin aku simpan semua dalam kotak memori, namun entah kenapa sedikit demi sedikit ingatan itu terhakis. Mungkin, luka itu terlalu dalam hingga memori itu terpadam dengan sendirinya, agar aku tidak terluka lagi. Terima kasih untuk semuanya, kawan. Aku hanya mampu berharap yang semuanya akan menjadi lebih baik untuk kamu. Hanya itu.

Dan mengenai apa yang aku rasakan ketika ini, aku mengambil keputusan untuk biarkan sahaja ia berlalu. Aku masih muda, dan banyak agi perkara yang lebih penting berbanding dia. Kenyataan yang pedih, namun benar. Maafkan aku, kamu.






(|]=^,^=[|)♪♫~~ Kamenashi Kazuya & Taguchi Junnosuke - Special Happiness.