お久しぶり

HF; Stabbed

You dream a weird dream. Weird, because you rarely dream. Weird, because the content of your dream itself is too incoherent to decipher, even by you.

You awaken by the dream, which you hope was going to stay that way - stay as a dream. Only a dream.

---

You look at his smiling face, which had never failed to create this warm and fuzzy feeling inside you. The face that never fail to cultivate butterflies inside you. You're so drunk in love, yes you know that, which is weird too because people tend to not realizing their drunkenness.

You look at his hand that he held out for you. You look at him with questioning look and he just smile and took a hold of your hand instead, eagerness shown on his face. He pulls you towards him and you stumbled on his chest with an "omph" and he just smile his stupid smile and you fall again.

You're not easy to fall in love to, but when you do, you fall hard.

He twirl around while embracing you. His hold on you is not too tight, but you know that he’ll never let you fall or hurt because of him. His smile is showing his utmost teeth; showing his happiness.

“You kinda smile like a drunkard.” You commented carelessly after the spinning and twirling subdued. You lean close to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat surrounding you. You’re a drunkard too, you realized. You’re drown in happiness that makes you think that nothing matters in this world other than him and you.

His reply was just a simple peck on the temple of your head. You just scoot closer to him (if that even possible) holding his waist tighter.

You feel like the world is yours.

---

Your hands in his', while he drag you across the hallway to the departing gate. Both of you are running out of time to chase the plane, the result of sleeping late despite knowing having an early flight the next day.

But it's okay, you remind yourself. Things will be okay, you remind yourself again. It always had.

Your mind runs to what happened a few weeks ago, when he shove two holiday tickets on your face.

---

You just look at him dumbly, unable to process the object that just been shoved to your face.

"It's our anniversary present," he said, while he rub his nose a few times, a habit that you think never fail to make your heart flutter.

You read details on the tickets, flight ticket to an island, a vacation island. Perfect for unwind. "Why all of sudden, though?" You asks, despite knowing his tendency to do things out of blue.

He just shrugged and collect all of you in a tight bear hug. "Just because." He lean closer, if it's even possible, to give butterfly kisses on your head.

---

"Faster." Somehow, you are the one that dragging him right now. You could feel that he tried to catch you up, but you could also feel his tiredness. He's grip on your hand is not as firm as before.

You turn when your body jerk to a sudden stop. His grip on yours suddenly gets too tight that it started to hurt, and you turn around only to be embraced by him.

"What-?" You return his hug, but shocked when your hand met something wet, sticky, and hot from his back. You bring your hand to your face, to your eye, silently praying that whatever you think it is, is not...

"Min?" Your voice cracked upon seeing your hand, full of blood. Your lover had been stabbed.

"Min?" You call again. You bring both of your hand, full of blood to his face and you could feel tears welling in your eyes.

"Be happy." He mouthed to you, slowly.

Something about: Holiday

..........which happened more than a month ago.

Less word, more pictures...

Lost luggage

Girlfriends

Truth be told, this is the first time ever in my life I've fly... Kinda lame, I know. Travel to Langkawi with Air Asia, travel from Langkawi with Malaysia Airlines. Cause we're coll liddat. Naaaahhh, actually that's the best (and cheapest) bargain we could pull. We try to squeeze in to Malaysia Airlines actually, because they give us 30kgs of checked baggage, for free! (yeay, free, who don't love it, ayyy???)

Accidents also happened when we fly back with MAS. I lost one of my luggage. Almost cry my lungs out because the said luggage is the one that full of chocolates and souvenirs. But the next day, it comes back to me with all taken care by MAS. Alhamdulillah, thank God. 

Sooo... Summary.

First Day: 

Landed on Langkawi early in the morning (around 8-something) and get the car. I pre-booked the car and ta-daaa it's waiting for me. Straight to Cable Car and have our breakfast there. I can't remember how much we pay, but we go to SkyDome and ride a cable car after that. Feeling a little bit adventurous, we also go to SkyWalk where you kinda need to hiking a little bit. Afternoon, we checked-in and rest. Only after 3pm we go out and try to grab a quick lunch before headed to Telaga Tujuh. Because we reached Telaga Tujuh quite late, we somehow decided not to climb it and went to Pantai Kok, Langkawi and we eat. Again. At night, we (well, 3 out of 4 of us) somehow end up went to Alun Alun Spa and pamper ourselves. 

Second Day:

We went for Island Hopping. From morning till afternoon. We be burn our skin so bad. Okay, that's a lie. Early in the morning we already wears tonnes and tonnes of sunblock and prepare for the day. Island Hopping is so much fun, I tell you. Being close to the nature is so fun. We had late lunch (again), but this time at Kuah as we prepare ourselves for girls' favourite activity: SHOPPING. Shop shop till you drop. Figuratively. We had an early lunch at a Seafood Restaurant (which I really can't recall the name) before having leisure time at Chenang. We stroll around and buying some souvenirs and some snacks and bread for breakfast next day as we have another early flight next day. 

Last Day:

We very much packing and go to the airport as early as possible. Reach KLIA around 1230 in the afternoon but stuck there for almost another hour settling my luggage (waiting and reporting and the conduct quick search but failed to found it).

Shameless recommendation from me. We rent a car from here and stay here. 

Rent a Perodua Axia (which at that time is still new) and they're very helpful and easy to communicate with. 

We stay at The Cottage Langkawi (Cottage 3, RM150 per night to accommodate 3 person and additional RM20/extra-bed) which the staffs there are very helpful! We even get our island hopping package from them, which is a little bit cheaper compared to go to the jetty by ourselves. 

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ WINNER - But

I'll be back.

apa kau ingat seronok risau sorang2 ni?

Something about: So long...;

It's almost a year since the last time I actually wrote something here. I'm alive, still. Alhamdulillah.

Currently I'm already entering a whole new world. Alhamdulillah again for that. I've already be a permanent worker somewhere at Shah Alam. 

Almost a year that I slow down with blogging and almost half a year I somehow slowing down a little on social medias. So many things happened within these span of time that I'm trying to gather back myself; trying so hard to not looking back too much - especially to things that hurts me so much. 

But sometimes - I think; I know I've fail on that. 

Anyway, take care!



(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ Ingrid Michaelson - Into You

there are just so many things that i miss.

i miss writing and updating and sharing nonsense.



and i kinda miss you.




#PrayForMH370

thank you. 

Something About: I'm Alive,..

...and thanks for your concern. Well, if there's any... :)

My final examination paper will start the day after tomorrow. Nervous deep inside, but hoping that I'll do the best. Hoping that I'll leave this place. Fly. Free. 

Nothing much about my life that's interesting enough happened lately, I guess. At least nothing that worth sharing with other people.

Closing this semester with me realized how fragile I am deep inside. I realized that maybe, maybe, I haven't even change that much as much I expecting myself to change. My only expectation on myself after this is being more selfish.

My motivation on myself lately. F*ck others. 

Next...
Sharing my latest obsession, a cover song from Chester See and Tiffany Alvord. ^_^
Pretty song is pretty.

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ Chester See & Tiffany Alvord cover - Beneath Your Beautiful (original by Labrinth feat Emeli Sandé)

sayang itu macam mana?

perasaan yang buat kau separuh gila dan resah tanpa henti.
dan kau mengerti resah hati itu sebab kedukaan hati dia.
selepas resah itu pergi. sebelum kau mengetahui.



rindu itu pula bagaimana?

sakit dalam hati, sebelum bertentang mata bertukar bicara berkongsi idea.

begitu.

Something about: Book Review "One Day You'll Be Mine"

First of all, deepest apologize for breaking the word that this should be the next post after the trip to BookFair, but the month of May is full of so many ups and down for me. 

Anyway, here I am - writing the (very late) review of "One Day You'll Be Mine" by Inawza Yusof.

This is a review, yes, but expect no spoiler from me. 

This is my very own copy of "One day You'll Be Mine" =)

As I grow older, I tend liking more on novels that makes me take time to read it thoroughly. Before, I prefer more on novels that I could finish in 4-5 hours but this novel makes me take time to enjoy it - in a very good kind of way if I may add. =)

I mean, all the characters need time for you to adjust their personality in this novel. All the character's personality did put together to build the story that you realized without even one of them, they story won't turn into this way. Side characters is important to ensure the main characters (Dzul Ehsan & Anith Fitriah) more appealing in the story. 

And no - you shouldn't just jump from one chapter to another without reading properly, or you'll found out you lost of what happened. Really. Don't jump. 

The style of writing is something that I totally approved of. Kinda good to your vocabulary. Learn few words from it. =) Some (eg: my sister) might complain that the writing style is a little bit too complex, but I figured out that it is a good thing. Most novel nowadays is just selling love and ... not much of others. What I mean is, most novel nowadays having inputs of love and not that many that turns to be educational enough, especially to teen readers. 

The storyline also kinda away from cliché / typicality. I gives out new feelings, because halfway through the story you got the feelings of "ah, life is just not about happily ever after case, but it is much more than that". It also gives out goosebumps at some point in the story, exhilarates and awaiting in anticipation of what could happen next. A good story to me is, when you predict what's gonna happen next but it turns out to be out of what you expected.

Every types of relationship face difficulty, it's just how we face and handle it that makes differences.

Overall, I gives this book 8.5 out of 10. Recommended! =)

ps; my update is kinda gibberish, sorry bout that.

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ P!nk feat Nate Ruess - Just Give Me A Reason

HF; Simple.

I ran as fast as I can after jumping from my car along the shore, looking for you. Only God knows how worried I am when I received a simple text message from you. Too simple; that I can’t decipher it without thinking the worst situation ever.

I need you, I’m at the shore.

I ran to you; you looking into the sea with nothingness in your eyes and that sight itself make my heart ache – so very much. I don’t know why.

You turn and look at me when you realized that I’m coming to you – for you – and you can’t even smile to me like you use to. I know you want to cry, I could see tears in the brims of your eyes but you don’t, you can’t let your ego down, especially not in front of me. Definitely.

I slowed down my steps – feeling me legs turn weaker by each seconds past – before I kneel beside you, both my hand reaching out yours.

“What happened?” my voice is too low even for me, but you – you are the one that could always understand about me even without me saying it verbally.

You pull me to sit beside you. You just reach me and lean your head a little to my shoulder. It feels weird because I’m way too short – too small, compared to you – but it feels good at the same time too. It’s weird; I can’t describe this feeling at all.

“What happened?” I repeat, this time a little louder.

You smile, I could hear it in your voice. “I got into a fight with dad. Quite a huge one too, unfortunately.” You finally say something, but it didn’t put me in ease. No, not at all. It makes me feels more miserable, especially because you’re smiling. You rarely smile.

“About what?” I hold your left hand tighter, hoping –praying- that it was just about some kind of stupid misunderstanding between you and your father.

You just smile while shaking your head slowly. I could imagine that. You, you always did it whenever you’re being like this, refusing to share your burden with anyone.

I sigh, and we stay like that for what it feels like eternity, until I realized that you’re crying. I could feel your tears wetting my shoulder, seeping through the t-shirt that I wear.

I reach for my handbag, searching for something. You turn and give me puzzling look while wiping your tears away.

When I found it, I smile. I give you one of the earpieces to my mp3. I blasted the songs to the maximum volume and put it into your left ear while putting the other in my right ear.

“Cry, cry if you want to, if you need to. Cry, without restraint. Cause I’ll be here, for you, forever.”

We lean at each other. In the end, we only had each other since we met each other. No one could change it.

“I won’t ever be able to reach my dream, ever again.” – the untold.

when i'm upset at my parents',

i'll stay in my bedroom and
chilling around with aircon
blasted of to the lowest temperature ever.

just like i'm doing right now.



it's like; i'm upset,
but f*ck everything.
it wasn't like i'll pay for this.



peace, yaw. :)

random thoughts.

no. i ain't gonna write this one properly with glittery sentences and all. no.

i'm not feeling happy these few days, caused by this one particular guy that keep n pestering me, bugging me, etc etc.

sms-es and phonecall-s that comes during wrong time again and again. its hard especially because sometimes i'm too vulnerable inside.

i don't even know what his motives is.

but yes, if someone loves me enough to bug him back for me, tell me and i'll gladly give you his number. pester him till he regret ever doing things to me. things that are not pretty to be mentioned at all.

i know i should update about novels that i supposedly read, but i couldn't because i didn't even finish any of the novels. i'm too distracted and tired deep inside. maybe i should seek professional help handling things like this. idk.



till then, sayonara.

Something about: 32ND KLIBF 2013 (read: bookfair. Yeay!)

Definition could be read .:.HERE.:.

I went to a bookfair yeay yeay yeay! :) To describe that I'm happy is definitely an understatement. Hohoho~

The international Bookfair located on PWTC, during this week. I highly recommend anyone that want to grab any reading materials to take this chance. Because there are so many publishers and bookstores that take part and greater news is, most of them sells materials in lower price than normal market price.

Some of graphic novels from GempakStarz. Free a file. Me love free stuff! :)

Bags of books (minus the red-bag in the middle, that's a friend's bag)

Morning, Noon & Night by Sidney Sheldon. RM10 after discount and all. (from bookstore that join the bookfair).
One Day You'll Be Mine by Inawza Yusof, RM 28 after discount. (from KaryaSeni)
Sebenarnya, Saya Isteri Dia! by Zura Asyfar, RM  25 after discount. (from KaryaSeni)
At KaryaSeni booth, each novel discounted RM5 per book. Berbaloi-baloi! :)

Graphic novels from GempakStarz. All discounted RM0.50 per book.
All these cost me exactly RM50 (7 books).

This trip won't happen without patient and help from le bros. Thank you, all. :) 

From left: Safwan (with his Galaxy Note 2, haha), Hazmi Zawawi, Fatullah Ruslan and Hadziq Dzulfikli.

Because KaryaSeni booth is located in a room which full of girls so they couldn't really enter the room without feeling awkward, so they waited for me for quite some time to let me purchase novels that I wanted so much. They even help me hold the bags of books at some times (because let's face it, they're heavy, lol). Also, especially to Fatullah that accompany me all the way from KTM Klang. You're the best! :)

Yes, I have the ultimate motive of why I really wanted to go to this bookfair, and that is to get a copy of "One Day You'll Be Mine" by Inawza Yusof. Second to the is for me to finish the last RM100 of my BB1M. And yes, not only I finished it of, but also grab a copy of Sidney Sheldon's "Morning, Noon & Night", even! I really am a happy girl.

As of now, I already finished with all 7 graphic novel from GempakStarz. Gonna move on to the novels sometime this evening after catching up some rest. :)

Anyway, take care!

(|].^_^.[|) ♪♫ Chester See - Lullaby

ps: Next post gonna be reviews of "One Day You'll Be Mine" by Inawza Yusof, hopefully. :)

sebab aku tahu perasaan betapa sunyinya bila bersendiri. seolah tak punya teman.

sebab itu aku taknak tengok dan taknak biarkan orang lain bersendiri. seolah tak punya teman.

sakit. perit. pedih. perasaan itu, semua aku dah rasa.



tapi dalam aku cuba menggembirakan orang lain, hati sendiri yang seolah ditikam dek belati berkali-kali.



sakit?

ah. macam kau tak pernah buat benda yang sama dulu. pada aku.



oh. aku belum lupa.

semangat yang hilang.

:(

sometimes, what you need is only a hug long enough that you could convey yourself that you're gonna be okay in the end.

i'll be okay. with hug or not.

Sesuatu tentang: Memori.

Rabu (27 Mac 2013).

Tudung dipakai, hati bergetar. Peperiksaan akhir semester ini akan dimulakan dengan kertas pertama sebentar lagi. 

Tiba-tiba pintu bilik diketuk. Nita menjenguk ke dalam. Aku tahu dia mencari Aisyah, maka aku hanya senyum kerana Aisyah sedang solat ketika itu.

"Nabilah. Afiq, dia dah takde." Nita berkata, perlahan, namun jelas di gegendang telinga. 

Semangat aku terus terbang, entah ke mana.

"Siapa sampaikan?" Bibir terasa terketar-ketar, namun dikuatkan untuk bertanya. 'Ah, mungkin hanya khabar angin,' hati berbisik dan mengharap. 

"Wani. Baru baca dekat twitter tadi." Nita membalas.

Kaki dihayun ke bilik Wani, ingin bertanya. Namun sedikit hampa kerana Wani sedang solat. Kembali ke bilik, aku menegur Aisyah.

"Dengar Nita cakap tadi?"

Aisyah hanya mengangguk. Aku cuba senyum sambil berjalan ke meja study, ingin mengemas apa yang patut untuk ke dewan peperiksaan. Saat itu, air mata menitis tanpa dapat ditahan. Aku menangis teresak-esak. Ingatan dibawa ke semester dua, semasa kami masing-masing di bawah teater IMBAS. Kenangan demi kenangan menerpa ingatan.

Nina datang, memujuk. "Sabarlah Nabilah," diulang-ulang ke telinga aku.

---

Aku tahu petang yang sama, jenazah disolatkan di Pusat Islam UiTM, tapi aku tak mampu untuk datang melihatnya buat kali yang terakhir. Tak kuat. Gusar jika aku pergi, aku hanya memburukkan keadaan.

Aku juga tidak ikut untuk ke Kodiang walau diberitahu bas disediakan. Aku tak kuat. 

Aku ralat kerana hanya sempat menjenguk sekali sepanjang dia di hospital. 

Aku tahu, aku tak seharusnya rasa begitu. Tapi aku benar-benar tak punya kekuatan.



Dan kini...

Kenangan lalu terus memenuhi ingatan. 

Allahyarham Afiq Naqiuddin Bin Noordin.

Pemergian mu diiringi doa. 

Al-fatihah. 

notakaki: entri ini ditulis hanya sebagai ingatan kepada seorang rakan.

kau tau apa perasannya ditinggalkan?

seolah-olah kau digantung tak bertali;
dicerai talak mati.