Something is soooo wrong with me. Haha. I just finished reading 60-something words pages of something, and I cried. A LOT. I don't know why. Things suddenly hits me so much that I can't control myself. Since I become a teen, I rarely broke like that. Crying so much that my eyes swollen (for real this time. I just hope that my parents won't realized it) for things that happened in the past. It just so weird that it hits me now because it had happened loonnngggg ago. I was reading as I listening to Kerispatih's songs, and it just hits me so much that I lost control and cries. Hohoho~ I know I'm weird. But I can't helped it.
I remember once upon a time, talking with the girls and the topic about regrets and turn back the time appear. The details should be kept as secrets, but one thing for sure, my opinion didn't change since before. Even I could turn back time, would I take it and make changes, the answer then (and now) is no. Why? I don't even know. It just feel so wrong.
A few days back, I got a text from someone. Just one sentence, and it did break my heart a little. "Did you live your life just fine?" Yet I can't gather enough courage to answer it. I could only delete the text and keep telling myself that its time to let go. I think that it might be a mistake to do such thing, but even I could turn back time, I won't change my decision. What's done is done. And I believe that its for the best. Since I'm not the one that making absolute decision that time. That person did. I thought that I should just keep on walking. And I think I did. So why bother trying so hard when you know things won't get better, anyway? Why trying to cherish and care when you'll leave in the end?
Damn! I'm, so emotional right now. What's wrong with me? Where's the narcissist Nabilah and the ignorant Nabilah? Where are you when I need you? :/ I think I need someone to bear-hug me and tells me that things will get better eventually. I think I hate apart of me that believes that everyone will live their life happily ever after. The childish and the naive part of me. I hate it so much right now.
People changing. Sometimes for the better. Sometime it didn't goes that way. But its a process that won't come to an end. Never. Ever.
Sometimes, I don't know if what had I done is a mistake. I just need people to tell me about it kindly, and maybe scold me when I'm too stubborn, and give me times to think about it. I think I'm not that complex, right?
Anyway, take care and have a great day everyoneee~~~
(|]-,-[|) Tangga - Cinta Begini
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